Thinking about participating but not sure what to expect? Here are a few words from recent Pillow Talkers:
“The Pillow Talk Project levels the playing field [for men] when it comes to emotions. Women can cuddle and talk about their emotions, but they don’t always know how their boyfriend or husband feels. This project encourages them to listen and allow us to open up. Not only are women emotionally complicated creatures, but men are as well. There is a void that needs to be filled, and this project does just that.” – Brian
“The Pillow Talk Project has been a vehicle where I can open my mouth, strip my clothes off, and run around in the rain and not care, figuratively speaking. It has been the thing–the factor that helps, the cherry on top–that has helped me realize it’s time to stop caring about what other people think.” – Cameron
“Growing up, there were little things or “belt loops” that I feel would have been helpful for me. So, I see The Pillow Talk Project as one of those helpful tools that can be used as a resource to help guide men, which is why I wanted to be a part of it. When you get to speak about your own experiences, you learn from them. So, I hope being a part of something like this will hopefully help some other small town guy lost in his own self like me.” – Gordie
“I don’t think men get a lot of opportunities in our society to open up, in general. We’re conditioned to be strong and silent–that’s how I grew up. To open up a dialogue about these topics is important because we don’t get told that it is okay to do so. Not only do I think it will be cool to see what comes out of The Pillow Talk Project personally as a reflective experience, but I’m curious to see what other men are thinking and saying in their interviews.” – Jarren
“I’ve been through a lot of stuff recently, and The Pillow Talk Project came along at a period of learning and growth where I’m really just discovering myself. I’m kind of struggling to understand stuff like sexuality, relationships, and attraction. I chose to be a part of this project because I hope to be enlightened through this process because sometimes I feel like we as men stumble through all of this.” – Joel
“As a person in the entertainment industry, it’s really important to cover as much as we can of the black experience. The Pillow Talk Project, which features conversations around masculinity and identity, help start and continue such conversations. Sometimes I think questions aren’t answered or certain voices are missing in stories being told about black identity and masculinity in society. The more platforms where this topic gets discussed the better.” – The Storyteller
“As men, especially black men, we don’t really embrace each other for who we are, what we do with our lives, or even how we perceive each other. We don’t express. The Pillow Talk Project opens up the discussion. Within that, we are able to say things we don’t in front of other men, family, teammates, peers.” – Z. A. C.
“The Pillow Talk Project is an opportunity to tell your story, my origin story. I knew this would be an opportunity to talk about everything I’ve been through and everything that made me into who I am. It’s not just for others, it’s also for myself.” – Adam C.
“The Pillow Talk Project provides a space and platform to share stories that people sometimes don’t have access to. So, if you have a safe space where men of color can express their thoughts and know that they aren’t the only one going through it and they’ve seen others go through it and overcome it, it builds a sense of self worth, knowing that it’s going to be okay. You’re able to see someone else like you, someone who can identify with what you’re going through and it allows you to know that you’re not alone.” – Andre
“The Pillow Talk Project is very necessary. With social media and media in general, influencing the youth to be a certain kind of way, so many people are looking at others to compare themselves. This project is like a book of colors where you can see people from different background and places and realize it’s okay to be different. This platform is a way for people to really understand that I’m human and I’m not the only one. I shouldn’t feel any less of a human because of the situations I couldn’t change.” – Anthony A.
“The Pillow Talk Project is a very important space to process male intimacy and sexuality, especially under a lens of looking at masculinity from a lot of different perspectives and different races, and how different identities are complicit in some and inherent in some as well. It’s important to have a space for people to reflect on their own complicity.” – Arick
“As black men, we are objectified in how we can express ourselves. A lot of times, it’s a very narrowly defined concept. We’re told you have to be a street dude and if you express emotions, you’re somehow less of a man. And if you’re not acting a certain way, you’re not a black man. The Pillow Talk Project humanizes us, and we don’t often get an opportunity to do that. Regardless of sexual preference.” – Brandon B.
“It’s important for people to share their story and learn from each other’s stories. I think The Pillow Talk Project gives you the ability to grow and serves as a healing process. A lot of times these are discussions that we don’t have sometimes it takes another individual to bring out something in you that you’ve never seen or never noticed before. Sometimes it takes someone else to help you learn something about yourself you never quite shared with the world.” – Moe
“The Pillow Talk Project embraces men in a way that society and a lot of women don’t. They all think we’re hardcore with no emotions, but there’s a different side. We are soft, emotional, and we do have feelings. We are genuine people. The website features average guys with a huge story to be told, and it releases their story so it can be read by the world.” – DeAndre
“The Pillow Talk Project is important for people to see, specifically men. The definition and view of masculinity is changing and evolving. It’s important for people to see and hear different stories that reflect and represent that. For them to know they aren’t alone. Reading the stories made me feel like I wasn’t the only one going through this.” – The Nightingale
“The Pillow Talk Project is a voice that says, ‘This is the other side of black men, beauty, and masculinity.’ With this project, I saw something different. I saw the voice. Just from paying attention. I haven’t known a lot about it, but I when I have seen it breeze by on Facebook, it just reminded me of what my experience was and how there are levels to what blackness is, a black male is, and what we’re expected to be.” – Eric
“There is a giant focus on women talking about their feelings. And I think there is a fear among men when it comes to talking about themselves. It’s avoided. It’s looked upon as weakness, and with men it’s definitely a struggle. I felt The Pillow Talk Project was interesting from the get-go. But seeing how the stories were told, I felt connected to them, even if I didn’t know who the men were.” – Franklin
“There are so many men, black men specifically, who feel they need to succumb to fit into a mold: that men are tough, strong, and that we don’t cry. The Pillow Talk Project let’s all men who think they are supposed to fit it in know they can relate to one another. It is a platform for men who don’t want to be society’s notion of what it means to be a man, and it reminds them that they don’t have to.” – LaQuann
“I think that we don’t explore how men feel about themselves as a society. Our emotions and feelings are normally limited, so it’s important to not only show how that is false, but give voice to men who feel that it is false, so they can tell their own stories. The Pillow Talk Project does that.” – Marrion
“The Pillow Talk Project is a really, really cool project. It proves there’s so much more to our stories and so much more of a spectrum than what we’re told we’re supposed to act and compose ourselves in society. I know it varies across cultures, but overall there are these dogmas that have been ingrained in us and aren’t true, accurate, or we should even abide by.” – Martin