We live in a society that influences all facets of our lives. How we look. How we feel about ourselves. What we like. And, yes, even the manifestation of our sexual desire.
The status quo may have a checklist of what should feel right and wrong about your urges, who you fulfill them with, how, when, with what, and even where.
But CJ shatters that societal snowball, challenging us to embrace our kink and understand the beauty underneath. Why? Because it, too, is an important part of us, how we connect with others, and even how we show and strengthen our love.
So, since my teenager years, I was able to explore the beauty of chastity. I started my blog in 2015. During that summer I was unemployed and I honestly started the blog just for fun. It’s Tumblr. I wanted to use it to document my sex life, the joy and thrill of chastity fetish. All of a sudden it felt like it exploded overnight. I’ve had it for over two years, and currently I have 90K followers.
I teach people that the device has a deeper meaning than just the fetish device. It is about trust. When you hand the key to someone, it helps you develop a strong connection. One has the key. The other is locked. I think a lot of people like my blog because I don’t just show them the surface, but I show them the beauty beneath.
On my blog, I give them really good insights into the designs they should get, avoid, what they should do to make wearing it more comfortable. The difference in colors of and how they affect your mentality. That’s why people are drawn to my blog. It’s about educating them on how to best embrace their kink, instead of dwelling in the superficial elements of it.
I help people embrace or discover their kink. I get plenty of emails and messages, saying how I inspire them and how they are looking for their own device because of me. I hear about how couples incorporate it into their relationship to make it stronger. It is fascinating that people look up to me and they think of me as an example. I guess that means I’ve been doing something right (laughs).
Chastity as a fetish grew on me over time. I like the feeling of being owned. Belonging to someone. I like the feeling of always having to think about that person. Having them on my mind; the key holder. That’s the erotic part. You think about that person 24 hours of the day. It helps a lot for long distance relationships. It is difficult because you really have to get into it to embrace the beauty of it.
My only goal was to document [my experiences] and share it with other people. But over the years, people have grown to trust my advice, opinions, and input….It is fascinating that people look up to me…I guess that means I’ve been doing something right (laughs).
I’ve always had a pretty good idea of what I wanted when it came to sex. I was always into bondage, rough sex, role play, dom/sub. It came to me very naturally. Because of my desires, it prevented me from finding the right partners. I knew what I wanted, the partners I had didn’t accept it. They thought it was really weird. They weren’t into the things I was into. That’s why I was never really able to develop a longterm relationship until more recently because, even though he is different, he allows me the freedom to explore my kink.
When it comes to exploring your kink, you need to have an idea of what is out there. Once you learn about it, dip your toe into it. Slowly. If you find something that you’re into, give it a try, with an open mind. There’s many fetishes out there. You need to have an idea of what they are and if it is something you’re familiar with. And if you’re not, research it. Then seek out partners who are into it. With today’s world with social media and many dating apps, you’ll be able to filter that, finding people with similar interests.
I believe life is way too short to be confined by a particular lifestyle that other people want you to live in. You can explore other interests as long as you do it responsibly and it doesn’t involve underaged children, animals, or anything that could cause harm to yourself or others. It should be safe.
Starting a movement inspiring people to embrace their kink makes me feel really proud, even though I never set out to be considered a professional or expert in this area. My only goal was to document it and share it with other people. But over the years, people have grown to trust my advice, opinions, and input. And I couldn’t be happier. I take this very seriously and I’m looking forward to building off of what I’ve already done to really expand it.