Think about a man you would consider beautiful. Now, what came to mind first? His smile? Broad shoulders? Impressive jaw line? Did you for a second think about anything else besides his physical features? Probably not. Why? Because whether we want to admit it or not, for most of us, beauty is only skin deep. But if we form assumptions based solely on how someone looks, how do they feel about it? As Gerald shows us, they might secretly hope you are brave enough to realize for yourself that they are more than just looks.

When I was younger, I was quiet with big glasses and a bowl haircut. My mom dressed me and I always did whatever my brother did. He was two years older.  So, for most of my childhood, somebody was always there to lead the way, which meant I was more sheltered. And when I think about it, I can’t say whether I was happy or sad during my early childhood years because it was all middle level. But making friends wasn’t the easiest for me since I was quiet and shy, so every time I had a new friend, my parents would celebrate.

In my early years, I used to wonder if I was an alien or a robot because I felt so isolated and unique. I questioned if my experiences and feelings were like that of others. I wanted to figure out what made everyone else tick because I could only find a fraction of the similarities of myself with other groups, but never a complete fit. Through middle and high school, I just remember feeling left out because I didn’t have that many close friends I would hang out with.  As I got much older and made my way through puberty and then let my personality radiate more, I became who I am today: a man who some would consider attractive.

To me, a beautiful man is someone who is clean-looking with  smooth skin and striking features. He moves confidently through space, commanding attention. He’s somebody you are aware of, not easily overlooked.  For me, I feel like I pick up on vibes/energy. So, a beautiful man would likely give off a positive, approachable, welcoming vibe that let’s you know he is genuine, kind, and compassionate.

People think they have an idea of the kind of person I am beforehand, so they prep themselves. But when I’m not what they expect, sometimes they lose interest. I just want people to realize I have a lot more to offer than just my looks.

Although I have a pretty clear idea of what I would consider to be a beautiful man, I don’t know if I can say I fit my own definition. We are our own worst critic, after all.  Some people would say I fit it based on their responses to my pictures or seeing me in person. And I’ve been told I’m beautiful or that I should have pictures done and stuff like that. One time I was at the gym and I’d just come out of the steam room after a workout. As I headed to my locker,  someone said, “hubba hubba.” I chuckled. It was funny but I didn’t feel that was necessarily appropriate in a men’s locker room where you already feel vulnerable.

I have my days. But generally I can look in the mirror and like what I see because I take care of myself by working out. However, if you were to ask me, I’d say that my personality is what makes me beautiful.  I perceive myself as being compassionate and caring for others. I work in health care, which complements me in that I get the most fulfillment out of helping other people feel better. Those are all traits I find beautiful in others.

People also form their own assumptions about the kind of person they feel I am based on what I look like. For example, people assume a guy like me doesn’t have much depth. So, when they approach me, they keep things superficial. And when I do go deeper, as I tend to with my introverted tendencies, they are often  surprised or don’t want that and are turned off by it. I guess people think they have an idea of the kind of person I am beforehand, so they prep themselves. But when I’m not what they expect, sometimes they lose interest. I just want people to realize I have a lot more to offer than just my looks.