It’s easy to underestimate the importance of intimacy and things like pillow talk. It’s not exactly something that men are told is our forté; it’s often depicted as a foreign language men seem inadequate at learning.

But that couldn’t be less true. The only thing that intimacy requires is vulnerability. And although men are taught that is the last thing we should ever be, Terrence tells us not only isn’t it a choice, but it’s something that we as men need, too.

Intimacy is more than just sex, It is confiding in a person. It’s wanting to be with them, hold space with them, touch them, and just connect. You want to be truthful and honest with them, or have those transparent moments.

Regardless of how things may look, sound, or feel, you’re able to be vulnerable with them. They make it safe to do that. It may be something heavy or super sappy and mushy, but in that moment, it’s being able to share how you feel. It’s having the connection to be able to trust them with that, and them accept what you have to say.

That’s important because I believe in honesty and communication. I don’t want to be in a situation where I’m just going through the motions just because. It’s important to be open with someone and totally up front, so you can both tell each other how you feel, instead of letting things fester.

As men, we’re told we can’t express ourselves. We are told we must always be this straitlaced, stiff-lipped, strong man….[But] men feel and have emotions, too.

I think of Pillow talk as intimacy, the only difference is that it is when you’re in the bed and you’re most vulnerable. I believe your home should be your safe space, where you are most comfortable. And your bed is where you rest, dream, and get your energy from.

So, that’s where you should have the most safety and where you feel covered. So pillow talk is the space and the moment where you feel most like yourself, where you’re at ease, and free to have your guard down. It’s where the facades end and you don’t have to pretend for an outside world.

As men, we’re told we can’t express ourselves. We are told we must always be this straitlaced, stiff-lipped, strong man. And when we don’t have room to be intimate or engage in pillow talk, it makes it that much harder to find a sense of release and let the things that bother us the most go.

The more we (and society) realize that men feel, too, the more we can be attuned to who we are and to what our bodies are saying. It’s okay to cry, show pain, and our emotions. It’s natural.

When you have all of that on you, bad stuff happens–you explode. That could range from anxiety to causing harm to others. But with intimacy, you’re able to hold space and be vulnerable–and know that it is okay to cry, show pain and your emotions.

The truth is, it’s natural for men to want to show our emotions. Women aren’t the only one who feel. Men feel and have emotions, too. And the more we (and society) realize that, the more men can be attuned to who they are and to what their bodies are saying.

You can cry, show pain, and your emotions. It’s natural. Women don’t just have emotions, men do, too. And when they understand that, they can be more attuned to who they are, their bodies, and live, freely.