Growing up in a family of women, there’s one thing I’ve heard over and over: a good man is hard to find. There seemed to be countless stories about the men who only use and abuse, so for a while I grew up believing that’s what men did.

But that isn’t the truth for all men.

And as Sadique proves, there are a lot of great men out there who not only appreciate women, but are also looking for someone to love. It’s just a matter of finding them.

Growing up, I had this idea that I should be successful and well established. But I never focused on going out on dates with women as I was in engineering schools. And back in my college years, I didn’t find anyone who grabbed my attention. As a result, I always treated women as colleagues. To a degree, I was scared of the idea of dating and relationships because I grew up thinking that women would come to you once you are more successful. That might be true in Indian society but it’s very different in American society.

It’s also been so hard for me to fill in the cultural difference as some of the women I’ve encountered aren’t necessarily looking for brown guys. They also seem suspicious of the things I do, saying it’s too good to be true and that they wanted to know what was really under the “hood.”

To me, I was just being myself and treating them how I feel all women should be treated.  But instead of them embracing that, I always hear, “Why are you so nice to me ?” So many women have encountered guys who are only nice to them to the point of being able to get them in the bed, only to throw them away later. So a lot of them don’t believe anything you’re doing is genuine, even if you’re the real deal.

I can admit that I sometimes get nervous when speaking to beautiful women because I haven’t spent my life practicing pickup lines or the art of pickup women just to have sex with them. I’ve been so focused on getting a job, the money, and the house, expecting the woman would just pop up when it was time.

But I’ve realized that I don’t want to be lonely for the next ten years of my life–only focusing on becoming more successful. I believe you need a woman who is close to you as you go on your journey building the life you want to have. I’d like to do that with someone I really care about as well.

I want women to know there are men out there who can appreciate them, and that the men they might have experienced who may have hurt them aren’t the only options. We’re looking for that special someone, too. You aren’t the only ones. We just have to find each other.  

What frustrates me the most is that I’ve noticed that a lot of men treat women as disposable.  They see women as tools of instant gratification to be used up and thrown away when they are done. And because so many women are used to experiencing that, they see all men the same way–as not to be trusted–and, instead, build up walls around their emotions.

They don’t want to expose themselves because they expect most guys will hurt, abuse, and use them. But that’s not me–all men aren’t like that. When I see a beautiful woman, I want to know about her mind, and then her heart–and eventually we can get to the intimate side of things.

I want women to know there are men out there who can appreciate them, and that the men they might have experienced who may have hurt them aren’t the only options. All men aren’t always looking to get laid. We do want families, kids, and to grow old with our partners.

Despite what media might portray, real men DO have emotions. We cry. We get hurt. We feel. We do have insecurities and get picked on. We need and want partners on the same level who love us. We’re looking for that special someone, too. You aren’t the only ones. We just have to find each other.